What to say when someone comments on your body.
Let’s discuss the fact that body talk can be so exhausting.
Body talk is “ my body is ___” or “omg why can’t my body ____” or “does my [body part] look ____?” Or just any comment about someone else’s body.
Society creates a toxic environment where telling someone “wow you lost weight,” or “did you gain a few pounds” or “you look different” is the norm (thanks to diet culture). We do not know what everyone is going though in their private lives, and our bodies are definitely our private lives… and none of anyone’s business! Here is a fact: “Complimenting” on a friend’s weight loss insinuates that you did not like their larger body, and even worse, that your friend is only deserving of compliments based on their body size.
We are more than our bodies, we have a mind and soul - let’s talk about these things instead when we have the urge to comment on bodies. Plus it leads to a deeper conversation and connection.
Try this instead:
“You are glowing, you seem happy, what is going on in your life right now?”
“You seem distracted, is everything okay?”
or just a simple, “how are you doing"
What to do if someone comments on your body:
1) If you are comfortable, address it! Tell them you don’t want to talk about your body. Then change the subject to something that has happened recently or something that is going on in your immediate surrounds.
Try this:
“I don’t want to talk about my body”
“Body talk is exhausting, lets talk about the book I am reading”
“My body is, and always was doing justttt fine, anyway……..”
2) If you do not want to address it just [pause], let the comment dissolve and switch the subject.
Try this:
“[silence] *sigh* Oh did you hear about …”
“[silence] *look at your phone* Excuse me let me reply to this text” [then just reset] “anyway, what’s going on?”
Always advocate for yourself and know that if you are feeling bothered by body talk, then other people in your life are feeling this way too. We are all submerged in diet culture society together. You may get more support than you would have thought by sharing your point of view. If not, we are here to help! Schedule An Appointment
With love,
F.A.M
